I'm going in tomorrow to discuss possibilities with my counselor. To see how far in debt I am, to sign Absence of Leave papers, to just back off for a while.
I am paying too much money to go into something that I'll dislike. It would be wonderful to never want for a job, but I know that wouldn't be true for me, no matter what they say about the medical field... I'm just too picky.
I think I just... leaped into this, all too soon. I never checked backgrounds, or one program against another. I'm not going into the clinical part of medicine, if I go into it at all; I'd do office work.
I'm not going to pay a cool twenty-five grand to learn how to do office work.

The show is going well... we have a photo shoot tomorrow. I'll post pictures if I can get my hands on them. The plan is to have black and white, very film noir photographs for publicity. I hope they turn out.
I took a walk with Justin earlier tonight... he was in a horrible, wretched mood, but he managed to stave it off in order to have a relatively pleasant conversation. He insisted on knowing what shows and things I'd done... he wanted to know about me. It was sort of nice to really talk to someone and have them talk back, just to walk next to someone in a companionable fashion, bumping elbows every once in a while.
He is too old for me, and he has too much emotional baggage. Next to him, I must look absolutely fresh-faced and innocent, still blinking my eyes in the morning sun while he wearily begins another day.
I do feel like that sometimes, among the cast members... like some sort of alien June lily springing up in a grove of felled, seasoning trees. I don't belong there by appearance... but by nature, I have just as much a right to own that space as they do.
own the space. use that walk. take your time. be a flirt. i'm going to start pouding your ass into the ground on this, cupcake.
If only you knew.